BREAKING NEWS: Supermodel Karolina Kurkova a Clone

That’s right, you heard it here first: Czech underwear supermodel Karolina Kurkova is, in fact, a clone. The recently released proof?

She has no belly button.

Her agent’s flimsy denial that “she’s not an alien”, even if true, doesn’t address the fact that she must then be, by default, a clone.

Otherwise known as a navel, the belly button is the rounded, knotty depression in the center of the abdomen caused by the detachment of the umbilical cord that fed you while in the womb. The only reason not to have one? You were grown in a vat!

In an attempt to hide this fact from the public, the military-fashonista industrial complex has gone so far as to Photoshop a belly button on to Ms. Kurkova’s cloned torso in photographs, but we’re not fooled.

What nefarious purposes could be served by the cloning of an army of Victoria’s Secret models? I don’t know, yet, but I mean to find out 😉

– S.

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